Getting Your Shit Together
We all have that part of our lives where we want to get our shit together. The mess is frustrating. I know this because I’ve been there.
The truth is, getting your shit together demands a level of honesty that can be hard to face. It’s not easy to admit that you’re the one holding yourself back.
There are two reasons we struggle to get our shit together:
- We want to avoid the pain of admitting our lives are a mess.
- We don’t have a strong enough reason to change.
Admitting that you don’t have it all figured out is the first step. It’s time to stop ignoring that pile of issues lingering in the corner of your life, much like two-week-old Chinese food that doesn’t seem to go bad. It’s past due, trust me.
Step 1: Acknowledge the Mess
Not having your shit together sucks, but many know it and still can’t change. Why? Because people create change for two reasons:
- It feels good.
- It’s too painful, and they finally have a good reason to change.
Before diving deeper, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself:
- Where is my shit a mess?
- What would I like to improve?
- What truth about my life have I been avoiding?
Let’s say you realize your finances are a mess. You might have overdue bills piling up or credit card debt that keeps you awake at night. Or perhaps your relationship with a friend has soured because of a falling out you’ve been avoiding. Stop pretending. The mess is there, and it won’t go away on its own.
But here’s the catch.
Sometimes, even when we know the price we pay is steep, we cling to it. Pain isn’t always enough to make us let go.
Why is that you think? You might think you’re above it even.
Our minds play tricks on us at a deep, psychological level.
This trick is called the Sunk Cost Fallacy.
It’s a cruel mistress. It leads us to believe we make rational choices based on the future value of our investments and experiences.
The truth is different: our decisions are clouded by the emotions tied to what we’ve invested. The more we pour into something, the harder it is to walk away.
In simple terms, it’s tough to let go of what we think we’ve invested in, even when it’s worthless, making us feel worse and yielding poor results in our lives.
Step 2: Understand the Pain
Many struggle to change because they want to avoid the pain of acknowledging their mess or simply lack a compelling reason to change.
To create a tipping point, you need to understand the true cost of inaction.
Ask yourself: What’s the price I’m paying for my inaction? Ignoring overdue bills might lead to late fees or a damaged credit score. A strained relationship takes an emotional toll and risks losing a valued friend.
The answer to “Why should I bother?” is simple: you want to stop the cycle of pain—not just for yourself, but for those around you.
Step 3: Make Your Shit List
Now that you understand why you need to get your shit together, it’s time to get practical. Make a list of everything not working in your life.
This is your Shit List. Here are some examples:
- Finances: Overdue bills, credit card debt, lack of savings.
- Relationships: Unresolved conflict with a friend, lack of communication with a partner.
- Health: Neglecting exercise, poor eating habits, lack of sleep.
- Career: Procrastination on projects, feeling unfulfilled in your job.
Be brutally honest about what needs cleaning up. This acknowledgment is the first step toward change.
Got all your shit in one place? It’s hygenic. Great, let’s continue.
Step 4: Start Small
Once you have your Shit List, look for the small messes you can clean up first. Assess everything you’ve written down. If you didn’t make a list, look around your space.
What bothers you? What small thing can you tackle?
Start where you can. If something stands out, begin there. It might seem insignificant, but it’s a step toward cleaning up your life. If “getting out of $100,000 in debt” or “fixing my marriage” is on your list, don’t start there.
Tackle a smaller issue first. If your marriage is on the list, maybe it’s about apologizing to your partner or owning a part of the dysfunction.
Or it might be something simple like making your bed, shaving for the first time in days, or taking out the garbage that’s been piling up.
Step 5: Own Your Shit
You attract what you focus on.
I remeber a viral video of people passing a basketball under a bridge. At the end, it asked if you noticed the guy in the gorilla costume who moonwalked across the screen. Many missed it because they were focused on the game.
Life is the same way. When we focus too much on the mess, we miss the good parts.
The trick is to step back and see the whole picture. Recognize both the clean parts and the mess.
How you clean up matters. If you start throwing things out without acknowledging the impact of the mess you’ve left, you’ll only create another one.
Getting complete means taking ownership of your part in the mess. It means apologizing to those you’ve hurt or neglected because you were stuck under the weight of your own shit.
Rinse and Repeat
Cleaning up your life isn’t a one-time event; it’s an ongoing process. We often wish for a dramatic change in one heroic gesture, but real change usually happens one small step at a time.
You are in control of your life—not the mess. The fastest way to a clean life is to tackle one small issue at a time.
So here’s to embracing the brutal honesty needed to get your shit together. It’s not easy, but the rewards of self-discovery and personal growth are worth the effort.
Happy cleaning!
Hugs through cyberspace!
Stay woke, my reader folk.
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